Ready for Joy
Barbara Muir © 2011
(I'm using the same image on both blogs tonight
because that arms in the air happy pose is the
subject of the first blog on this site, and it
is the universal posture of over-the-top happy people.)
Today seems like a great day to announce this
blog to the world. I have been pretty busy with the
rest of my life, and that is a good thing according to
experts -- busy people are happier. So what's up?
Well it's the first ever International Happiness Day,
and the United Nations has recognized the importance
of happiness to its 193 member states.
I've been thinking a lot about happiness and couples.
This is the first day of spring, but outside it's
still winter and it's been a long one. One of my
students loaned me a book that was
featured on Oprah's Life Class series this
winter -- The Five Love Languages by
Gary Chapman. This book has transformed the
way I look at talking to my husband, and I'm
sure you'd enjoy it whether you are married, or
in a love relationship, or not.
The author proposes that the main reason we are
on the planet is to be loving. That's not a new message,
but the way he applies it to marriage (and it can work
in friendship and in all of your relationships) is if that's
our primary purpose, we'll think twice before criticizing,
joking about our mates in a negative way, or putting our
partners down with other people.
Will this destroy the humour in your relationships?
I haven't found that to be true. I think my husband
and I have had more fun, and laughed more since
I started reading Chapman's book, than we ever
did before. And we have always loved anything
funny.
What may disappear is sarcasm -- which doesn't
really help intimate partners, or for that matter friends,
family, or work mates. The put down is a big part of
North American life. But in one on one relationships,
and in relationships between countries -- it doesn't lead
to happiness.
What does help is praise, and kindness -- but as Chapman
points out we have to learn how to talk to one another first.
His book goes a long way to teaching us how to transform
our love relationships. More loving = more loved, and
that will make us happier.
Welcome to my blog and
Happy International Happiness Day.
